The movie’s starting! Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you open your crinkly packaged foods now. Wait for the next quiet scene.
Welcome to the movie theater! It is distinctly different from your living room! When you say words out loud, other people hear them, too! Also did you know they make cough drops now? Yep!
I’m so glad we get to hang out tonight! It’s been AGES since I reminded you how much money I make.
We would have donated to your charity if you hadn’t used Comic Sans in the request letter.
Answering “How are you?” with “Good” is okay too sometimes.
I pick Schindler’s List for movie night and you want to bake a pizza? In the OVEN?
I got these tequila shots for us at closing time to show that I like you in the fuckable-way, not in the fuck-then-datable way.
